Skier Jokes, fer sure.

Discussion in 'Joke of the day' started by Terry, May 16, 2020.

  1. Terry

    Terry Administrator Staff Member

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2004
    Occupation:
    Plumber
    Location:
    Bothell, Washington
    What would an Ancient Skier history be without Gus Raaum’s Ole and Lena Jokes?

    Any time Gus got the podium at get-togethers such as the Ancient Skiers banquets and reunions, they were certain to hear a few like these.

    • Ole and Lena got married and they headed for Everett, checked into a motel there, and went to bed. Ole leaned over and gave Lena a peck on her cheek. Then Lena said to Ole, “Now that we are married you can go further.” So Ole got up and got dressed and they drove to Bellingham.

    • When the Norwegian accidentally lost 50¢ in the outhouse, he immediately threw in his watch and billfold. He explained, “I’m not going down there for yust 50 cents!”

    • Two Norwegians from Minnesota went fishing in Canada and returned with only one fish. “The vay I figger it, dat fish cost us $400.00,” said the first Norwegian. “Vell,” said the other one, “at dat price it’s a good ting we didn’t catch any more.”

    • Olga talked to her friend, Lena, “My husband vent out for a loaf of bread six weeks ago and never returned. Vat should I do?” “I wouldn’t vait any longer if I vas you,” said Lena, “I’d go get de bread myself.”

    • In Ballard. the homeowners discovered there were skunks in the basement. He asked his neighbor how to get rid of them. He was told to put lutefisk in the basement and he did and the skunks left. Then he had to figure out how to get rid of the Norwegians.

    • A Norwegian went fishing and brought home 150 pounds of ice - and his wife damned near drowned trying to cook it.

    • A rooster was walking past an Easter basket full of colored eggs and got so mad that he went over and beat the hell out of the Peacock.

    • Ole and Knut were out on the lake fishing, and they were having pretty good luck. Ole said to Knut, “Vy don’t you mark de spot so ve can find it tomorrow?” Later when they were tying the boat to the dock, Ole asked Knut, “Did you mark de spot like I told you?” “Ya,” said, Knut, and he pointed to a small “x” on the side of the boat, “You dummy,” said Ole, “Vat if ve don’t get de same boat tomorrow?”

    • Ole and Knut were good friends. Ole moved out of town and got a job as a chauffeur for a rich lady. Knut went to visit Ole and he picked him up at the airport in a Rolls Royce. Knut asked Ole how he liked chauffeuring this car. Ole said, “I own this car now.” “How is it possible?” asked Knut. “Vell, “ said Ole, “I drove this lady out to a picnic, and I laid out the blanket on the ground, and the rich lady took off all her clothes and told me I could have anything I wanted, so I took the Rolls Royce.” “That was a good idea,” said Knut, “because the clothes wouldn’t have fit you anyvay.”
     
  2. hj

    hj Master Plumber

    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2004
    Occupation:
    Plumber
    Location:
    Cave Creek, Arizona
    I once had a book of Irish jokes, and the instructions were if you were upset by Irish jokes, make them Polish jokes. Why did you change all the Swedish jokes to Norwegian?
     
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  4. hj

    hj Master Plumber

    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2004
    Occupation:
    Plumber
    Location:
    Cave Creek, Arizona
    JUst to continue the stream'

    A wagon train was traveling through the Midwest when the met Swedish sod buster. They asked him about somewhere to buy provsions. He told them he was not sure but warned them no to go over the hill because there was "bacon bush" on the other side. The pioneers did not know what abacon bush was, it sounded like something to eat and they were getting desperate so the set off over the hill. Some hours later the bloodied wagon master crawled bacm and told the farmer, "There was no bacon bush there but there were 500 Apaches". The farmer pulled out his Swedish to English dictionary and said, "My mistake, it was "ham bush".
     
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