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krikkitdidit

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I apologize in advance for my: babbling, crappy pix, complete lack of correct terminology and inability to comprehend basic plumbing principles!!! I will NEVER apologize for my independence, refusal to be ripped off ever again, or for the fact that I TRIED and sometimes I even sorta succeeded! I should also apologize if I'm posting all wrong in wrong areas or whatever....I have never been on a site like this...
Now for my plumbing problems:
Short back story: I am moderately disabled and I own a 100+yo home that I am attempting to remodel/redecorate.
It has a septic with ZERO records on file with county health or anywhere else, former owners dead for years, realtor who sold to my family knew nothing beyond "theres a septic thing somewhere over there"! its been sucked out 2x in last 3 years, dude that does the suck truck it is awesome but we have a communication malfunction. So, I've no idea what type of system, d box or leach field location, it doesn't even get pumped from the white plastic clean out post? pipe? He digs up this big concrete lid and ties it up w a chain on some lifter on truck. Not all of my waters go into septic, washing machine, basement shower, sink and 4 random faucets? spigots? go into this hole in floor and out into village storm or sewer drains, 2 sump pumps are NOT CONNECTED TO ANY OTHER DRAINS YET HAVE HAD MY HAIR DYE AND HAIR BALLS IN THEM???? The pumps just have their own drainpipe that just goes on my yard and I planted cattails to kinda soak up that swamp. I've also got a grease trap pit outside that likes to shoot random things like straws that have escaped my kid and got into drain. My kitchen sink goes into this big nasty clay pipe that my ex apparently cracked and duct taped, then I guess it somehow goes to grease trap then septic??? I covered the cracked pipe (not the crack pipe) with hydro cement? My main shut off is non functional, I won't be touching it at all as I know it will only break and the resulting chain reaction is way beyond my financial means as well as my limited skill and ability to repair. I know how to use the shutoff at the street aanyways. Currently, I am redoing my bathroom, ripped out old sink and vanity, put pedestal sink in, can I still call it pedestal sink even if its actually sitting on a barstool I upcycled coz the pedestal don't fit? The drain broke at wall 3 yrs ago when I was trying to clear it by poking a garden hose, plumber snaker and a shop vac in it(not all at once), I just had a bucket under sink til I took out vanity...for now, my drain is a vacuum hose attached w rubber sleeves and hose rings. I'm a farmers daughter, I was upcycling before it became a thing! I had sealed off broken pipe w a pringles lid hot glued over 3 tampons poked into open end. I think its still clogged or collapsed inside wall and I cant tear up any more wall. I just want to cut the end off and put a permanent seal on. NO TORCHING!!! Plastic tile(I only need to cut a cpl inches off and then tile will go right over it, old drywall and old plaster and lathe? All too close and flammable!!! My friend says lattice but I think its lathe. I plan to figure out where there's floor space under sink and preferably close to wall, (coz i can hide it behind sink skirt) and cut a hole then drop new drainpipe to crawlspace and I'll have to attach it to the pvc pipes there. Friend insisted that my old drain does NOT run inside wall for 3ft or so then go thru floor and into crawlspace, he swears it just can't b that way, BUT IT IS!!! Is there really something wrong with that? Anyways, I need advice and how to info on putting in new drainpipe and where I can or can't attach it to existing pipes or if there's any chance that after 3yrs of non use, the clog shrunk and I can attach to broken end?? It IS actually draining enough I can wash my hands and brush my teeth.... it wasn't draining at all when I broke it......I will be using PVC or something flexible, I'm soooo not comfortable with the whole torching thing!!!! At some point i know i need to find all parts of septic system, obviously that's on hold til warmer weather but any advice appreciated!!! As for following codes...I live in a small rural village and dont really follow rules very well....there won't be any inspections on inside plumbing anyways, so PLEASE share any shortcuts or hacks....I'm big on keeping it stupid simple lol....i know the septic will have to have professional involved but Im determined to do the rest myself. I took out old vanity and installed the pedestal sink by myself, swapped faucets on it and put new drain assembly in as well, but I'm stuck now w drainpipe...
 
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