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After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counseling. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married. On and on and on ... neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and...

I can't shop at Costco anymore. Yesterday I was at Costco buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Necco, the Wonder Dog, which weighs 191 lbs. I was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had an elephant? So because I'm retired...

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/behold-natural-majesty-bunch-deer-201400760.html

Should I be afraid

Sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph's Hospital. She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?" The operator said, "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number of the patient?" The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice...

Two cannibals eating a clown…. Said one to the other, “Does he taste funny to you?

Two Ladies Talking In Heaven 1st woman: Hi, Wanda! 2nd woman: Hi, Sylvia! How’d you die? 1st woman: I froze to death. 2nd woman: How horrible! 1st woman: It wasn’t so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm and sleepy. Eventually I died a peaceful death. What about you...

Originally posted by -RotorDemon- on ar15.com. I borrowed my wife's Geo Metro last night. One liter of raw power, 3 cylinders of asphalt-tearing terror on thirteen-inch rims. It's stock, alright, nothing done to it, but it pushes the barely 2000 pounds of metro around with AUTHORITY. I'm always...

An elderly man on a Moped, looking about 100 years old, pulls up next to a doctor at a street light. The old man looks over at the sleek shiny car and asks, 'What kind of car ya got there, sonny?' The doctor replies, 'A Ferrari GTO. It cost half a million dollars! ' 'That's a lot of money,'...

A woman driving a car in Calgary became lost in a snowstorm. She didn't panic however because she remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it." Sure enough, pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started...

Have 2 under counter lites with F15T8/CW lamps. Picked up replacement led lamps daylight instead of coolwhite that both failed in 1.5 days. Lamp was design for magnetic,electronic instant start, program start and rapid start ballasts. What type of ballast is this? Thought it is electronic start.

A woman wrote to tech support, and their reply is a stroke of genius. This young woman is simply looking for an answer to two questions: How do you maintain a relationship? How do you bring back the excitement of the first date. She wrote a letter to tech support to find her answers. She sent...

FIRST TIME SEX A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time. The boy is ecstatic, but he has never...