The Copper Knight

Bulletin board

Bud  Hardman
Suncoast Plumbing Inc.
No longer in business

I enjoy reading plumbing advice from Bud, one of the most enjoyable writers about plumbing on the Web.  Crusing the bulletin boards for posts from him is a treat in the late evening hours. Below are some the Gems I have found for this page, Terry

Rats?

You have apparently overlooked the nastiest of all rodents "Rattis Infernotis Vulgarus" (the rat from hell). This little beauty is the size of a large house cat, and is a plague in certain parts of Asia. They live and multiply in huge numbers in the sanitary sewer systems. They are cannibalistic and hunt in packs like wild dogs, in some areas they have decimated the local cat

populations to near extinction. In spite of their large size, they have no problem in swimming through the trap of most toilets to gain entry to their favorite haunt; human habitations. Unlike their country cousins, they show no fear of humans, and can be very aggressive if confronted or threatened. Because of their nocturnal behavior, there have been numerous instances of injuries sustained by victims that use the toilet during the evening hours. The injuries though usually not fatal often leave the victim traumatized and embarrassed due to the area of the physiology effected. Reports of trauma to the "Gluteus Maximus" are rising at an exponential rate. Sightings of these rodents have been reported by the CDC in the D.C. and surrounding areas.
Bud

Shooting a gun in the loo
is something you ought not to do.
an error in aiming,
can result in the maiming
of something of importance to you.
Budski

American Standard Antiquity

Steven:---Thank Goodness for your good report on your A.Std. rnd.front "Antiquity" W/closet. It is permissible to use a "Mickey Mouse" bowl wax if none other is avalable. And I'm glad that your glad over the outcome. What do you plan to do about your Gasp and Shudder affliction? Did you have it prior to the "Antiquity" installation? Is it manifested by spotaneous onset, or is there some warning before an episode? Do you think it could be related in some freudian way to the "Horned Bowl Wax"? Do your friends and neighbors know about the "HORNED BOWL WAX"?
Do you have any other guilt induced tics or peculiarities? Do you ever have bad dreams involving being chased by menacing or threatening plumbing fixtures? Have you ever dreamed that you were forced to walk stark naked in a public setting with nothing to cover your nakedness but a "MICKEY MOUSE PLASTIC HORNED BOWL WAX"? Do you find theraputic value in public confessions re: your use of A "MICKEY MOUSE PLASTIC HORNED BOWL WAX SET ON A 3" CLOSET FLANGE"?.. Steven, it's not to late to have a happy childhood..We must overcome guilt..we must salvage our flagging self esteem..We must weed out all those who don't measure up to our standards..we must burn all those books that run counter to our view of plumbing..We must rid the world of any discension with the truth as revealed to us. DOWN WITH REBELLIOUSNESS-NOW.
I would like to continue are pleasent conversation Steve, but they're coming down the hall with my medication. Have a nice day.

Christopher

Can you imagine the insensitivity of a statement like that? From a person who obviously takes great ethnic pride in a mediocre accomplishment by one of his far removed goombah kinsman in history. A disparaging remark re: Leif Ericsson did not go unnoticed by this simple plumber with Swedish blood coursing through my veins. While the Rodman is making great sweeping bows for his misguided Countryman, I shall shine some much needed light in that corner. The fact that the Swedes were the first voyagers to land and settle in North America is common knowledge. This fact appears to be sour grapes for some overzealous "red white and green" flag waver in the northern latitudes. I wonder if it is known to this boastful gentleman, the true facts that surround Christopher Columbus and his accidental landfall in Hispanola in 1492. Christopher was an unemployed "Plumbing Tech" in Genoa collecting the last of his unemployment compensation. It occurred to Chris that because a downturn in the Italian economy, he should go to Spain where the grass seemed ever so much greener. With little more than an empty drywall mud bucket...two rolls of duct tape, a pair of cheap imported channel lock type pliers...1/2 a tube of latex caulk (Almond).... some tie wire and a four way screwdriver, he set off to seek his fortune in Spain. Life was not kind to Chris. He was stopped at the border, and given a Green Card and a limited work visa. Chris was able to eke out an existence bootlegging in assorted plumbing jobs from leads that he got at the local Home Depot. Chris became an adept con-man, he could spin spontaneous stories that were readily believed by even the most discerning businessmen and customers alike. It was this "gift of gab", that eventually got him the loan of Four ships from Queen Isabella. He spun her a tale of shiploads of Gold and Spices .rare Goat Cheeses and Ditalini Macaroni. She simply could not resist this smooth talker, and lent him the Four ships, complete with crew and provisions forthwith. Little did Isabella know about Christopher’s' sinister plot to abscond with the boats back to his native land, and sell them to finance a Pizza Pie Franchise.

As luck would have it, he was blown off course on his way back to Italy...got totally lost...one of the ships sailed over the edge, and the rest is history as we were led to believe in school. So Mr. Rod Stine...a public apology for your unkind remarks is not necessary, but would be accepted by "The Sons of Svenska"
Bud Hardman

While cleaning a drain late at night,
a plumber received quite a fright.
When he found that his cable,
had pulled back a table;
and a little green man with a light.
Bud

Tuba Toilets

Sherri:---Tell your Husband that "Tuba Toilets" are passe and tacky. Insist that he take the nuisense noisemaker back to whence he got it forth with. There are excellent bargains to be had by the watchful buyer. A "Silver Flute" or possibly an authentic "Penny Whistle" might be more appealing to Madames impeccable tastes?
For those however who consider silence "Golden", you should instruct your husband to purchase a ballcock of known quality lest he invite unwanted
noises to eminate from the bathroom.
Just one thing before you send your Lord of the Manor on this quest for a quiet flushing loo.
Ascertain that he has in fact fully opened the water supply valve to the "China Throne"..Bud..

Ladybug:---------You don't get a guarantee with this procedure, but then again it's not going to cost you 90 Bob.
Beg, borrow or rent a really hefty (Commercial Wet Vac), sponge all the water from the bowl, stick the hose down the Ducky hole, and turn that booger on. If mssr. Duck is reluctant to make an appearance, pour a quart of water into the bowl while the vacuum is doing its' best to inhale ducky. Don't quit to quick, keep the vacuum running, and add water ...a quart at a time but don't exceed the capacity of the vac tank. If the dastardly duck is captured, let us know. If for some reason you are not successful in this fowl deed, call the guests that were going to come over and tell them that there has been a tragic drowning in the family and you are forced to postpone the visit until after the mourning period. You could invite yourself over to their house until ducky is no longer a problem. After all what's a friend for?
My grandma used to say "a friend in need is a drag"
Lots of luck..............Bud.

Oldest active plumbing contractor on the planet

-I sometimes think I'm the oldest active Plumbing Contractor on this planet, and as such; I have seen many changes in requirements of materials in the pipe trades. I worked as a gas fitter for Consolidated Edison in NYC, when Sylvan was just a pup. In those days much of the gas piped to homes was Manufactured Gas (made by heating coal in cokeing ovens). The coal product left over after the gas was extracted was called coke, and was sold for home heating furnaces. The manufactured Gas was really awful stuff, it was full of all sorts of toxins that would blow the mind of today's environmentalists....it had dioxins...it had Phenol..it had Formaldehyde..Coal tar..Sulfurous gasses that combined with the water vapors present to form Sulfuric acid. It was the acidic nature of the gas that made the use of Galvanized pipe impossible, the acid would attack the Zinc and turn it into a powdery material that plugged up regulators, pilot burners and controls even with outsized drip leg traps and entrainment traps. That is why Black Iron piping was used. That was then, this is now, but old laws and code book requirements take forever to get expunged by the decrepit old boys who sit on code amendment committees across this Country. Natural Gas and LPG gasses are High Tech products delivered by pipeline or tank car from the processors with no contaminants.....the reason for a drip leg is not to collect crap that is present in the gas as supplied from the processor, but protect the appliance or equipment from too much candle wicking...blue block..rectorseal 5..Teflon tape from overzealous rookie installers. (that oughta start something eh ?)

Heres where we’re at in my part of the Country.......Beautiful Balmy

Sunny Florida