Toilet and urinal issues...

[Eugene94]

Hello everyone, I am having an issue with my toilet and not just my toilet, but most toilets and urinals I use. This may seem silly but when I urinate into either a toilet or urinal the urine comes back at me. At times this happens in a mist form and felt when wearing shorts. At other times it comes out of the toilet splashing the toilet rim in drop form. I have tried aiming at the water, and at the side but this doesn't seem to help, if I recall correctly. I have also tried sitting and this doesn't help with the water not coming back at you. Are there any other positions I could try that would help? I am circumcised and this is not an issue with the foreskin causing the mess. Perhaps there are certain deep toilets or special kinds that would best suite me. Any suggestions or same experiences? Thanks.

 

[WJcandee]

Dear Ted L. Nancy:

I loved "Letters from a Nut" and its progeny. Especially when you asked the guy who manufactures stadium seating whether there was any established protocol as to "crotch or butt forward" when making your way down a row in which people are already seated. I smile and think of this every time I navigate to my seat in a stadium or theatre.

Good luck on what appears to be your latest project.

Sincerely,
WJCandee

 

[Sponsor]

 

[Eugene94]

Dear Ted L. Nancy:

I loved "Letters from a Nut" and its progeny. Especially when you asked the guy who manufactures stadium seating whether there was any established protocol as to "crotch or butt forward" when making your way down a row in which people are already seated. I smile and think of this every time I navigate to my seat in a stadium or theatre.

Good luck on what appears to be your latest project.

Sincerely,
WJCandee

I think you may have replied to the wrong thread...

 

[FullySprinklered]

You need three things: antibiotics, counseling, and a case of Depends.

 

[Eugene94]

You need three things: antibiotics, counseling, and a case of Depends.

I'm serious!

 

[Smooky]

100% cranberry juice might help.
http://www.rwknudsenfamily.com/products/just-juice/just-cranberry
Might be user error:
http://www.wikihow.com/Use-a-Urinal-Without-Splashing-Yourself

Splash buster might help:
http://www.patentauction.com/patent.php?nb=9342
There are no splash urinals that have sloped sides that help prevent splash back. Waterless urinals help prevent splash too.

 

[WJcandee]

I think you may have replied to the wrong thread...

Or not. Nice try, though.

 

[Eugene94]

100% cranberry juice might help.
http://www.rwknudsenfamily.com/products/just-juice/just-cranberry
Might be user error:
http://www.wikihow.com/Use-a-Urinal-Without-Splashing-Yourself

Splash buster might help:
http://www.patentauction.com/patent.php?nb=9342
There are no splash urinals that have sloped sides that help prevent splash back. Waterless urinals help prevent splash too.

Thank you! I didn't know this information existed. But why did you include Cranberry juice as a solution?

 

[Eugene94]

Or not. Nice try, though.

I am not sure about the meaning behind your post. Could you elaborate?

 

[WJcandee]

I am not sure about the meaning behind your post. Could you elaborate?

You inspired me to pull out my dusty copy of Letters From A Nut and look it up. Thanks for another good giggle.

This link should explain it all: http://www.lettersofnote.com/2011/03/buttocks-or-crotch.html

And if it doesn't, here's an excerpt of how the publisher explains it:

[Ted L. Nancy] is, in reality, a twisted prankster -- a supremely off-kilter alter ego who sends patently ridiculous letters and queries to (and receives surprisingly earnest responses back from) corporate honchos, entertainment conglomerates, national publications, politicians, celebrities and heads of state to everyone, in fact, from the president of the Bon Ami Cleanser Company to U.S. Vice President Al Gore.

Letters From A Nut is an insanely inspired, truly madcap collection of Nancy correspondence, a laugh-out-loud-in-public-places aggregation of official -- and officially certifiable -- requests, complaints, fan mail and questions that could not possibly have been taken seriously...but, amazingly, were!

Dear Mr. Nancy:"It is not often that we receive such enthusiastic support for the paper bag." --The Paper Bag Council

"On behalf of Greyhound, there should be no problem traveling while in your butter costume." --Greyhound Bus Lines

"I look forward to working with you to create a better future for this great nation." -- Vice President Al Gore

"An unending stream of some of the most hilarious exchanges I've ever read. Everyone I lent this book to just read it and laughed out loud like I did. It's so simple, yet totally inventive. I'm sure some sort of mail fraud charges could be brought to stop this man but, personally, I hope they never catch him." --Jerry Seinfeld

 

[Smooky]

I’m talking about 100% cranberry juice not cranberry juice cocktail. It is strong and kind of expensive. It is supposed to help prevent a UTI. Some people think it does, some do not. I think it helps prevent sprinkle when you tinkle so that you get a more concentrated flow and I think it does help with a UTI.
http://www.webmd.com/women/news/20100823/cranberry-juice-fights-urinary-tract-infection-quickly
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Wellness/cranberry-juice-good-bladder-infections/story?id=17492426

 

[Eugene94]

You inspired me to pull out my dusty copy of Letters From A Nut and look it up. Thanks for another good giggle.

This link should explain it all: http://www.lettersofnote.com/2011/03/buttocks-or-crotch.html

And if it doesn't, here's an excerpt of how the publisher explains it:

[Ted L. Nancy] is, in reality, a twisted prankster -- a supremely off-kilter alter ego who sends patently ridiculous letters and queries to (and receives surprisingly earnest responses back from) corporate honchos, entertainment conglomerates, national publications, politicians, celebrities and heads of state to everyone, in fact, from the president of the Bon Ami Cleanser Company to U.S. Vice President Al Gore.

Letters From A Nut is an insanely inspired, truly madcap collection of Nancy correspondence, a laugh-out-loud-in-public-places aggregation of official -- and officially certifiable -- requests, complaints, fan mail and questions that could not possibly have been taken seriously...but, amazingly, were!

Dear Mr. Nancy:"It is not often that we receive such enthusiastic support for the paper bag." --The Paper Bag Council

"On behalf of Greyhound, there should be no problem traveling while in your butter costume." --Greyhound Bus Lines

"I look forward to working with you to create a better future for this great nation." -- Vice President Al Gore

"An unending stream of some of the most hilarious exchanges I've ever read. Everyone I lent this book to just read it and laughed out loud like I did. It's so simple, yet totally inventive. I'm sure some sort of mail fraud charges could be brought to stop this man but, personally, I hope they never catch him." --Jerry Seinfeld

Ah, I see.

 

[Eugene94]

I’m talking about 100% cranberry juice not cranberry juice cocktail. It is strong and kind of expensive. It is supposed to help prevent a UTI. Some people think it does, some do not. I think it helps prevent sprinkle when you tinkle so that you get a more concentrated flow and I think it does help with a UTI.
http://www.webmd.com/women/news/20100823/cranberry-juice-fights-urinary-tract-infection-quickly
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Wellness/cranberry-juice-good-bladder-infections/story?id=17492426

But do you think I have a UTI?

 

[Caduceus]

Would you go to your urologist and ask advice on your water heater from him.
See a urologist or a family practitioner. If this is a new development and your urine stream has been normal before there may be some stricture in your urethra. There are a few causes that can be determined by a doctor and some may be easy to clear up with the use of antibiotics.....but I'm just a plumber. See a doctor.

 

[hj]

quote; And if it doesn't, here's an excerpt of how the publisher explains it:

The solution to the seating problem is simple, just move the rows far enough apart so you can walk between them. Shuffling sideways is dangerous anyway.

 

[FullySprinklered]

My ex-father in law is a Eugene. No way can I trust anything you say.

 

[Eugene94]

I’m talking about 100% cranberry juice not cranberry juice cocktail. It is strong and kind of expensive. It is supposed to help prevent a UTI. Some people think it does, some do not. I think it helps prevent sprinkle when you tinkle so that you get a more concentrated flow and I think it does help with a UTI.
http://www.webmd.com/women/news/20100823/cranberry-juice-fights-urinary-tract-infection-quickly
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Wellness/cranberry-juice-good-bladder-infections/story?id=17492426

I followed through with your advice and got a bottle, but how much and how often should I drink it to see results? Thank you.

 

[Cacher_Chick]

The simplest solution is to pee outside.

 

[Terry]

The simplest solution is to pee outside.

Sometimes that spatters back too. Dooh!