Tea Leaves

Discussion in 'Joke of the day' started by fullysprinklered, Nov 26, 2017.

  1. fullysprinklered

    fullysprinklered In the Trades

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    A fellow came down with a bad case of hemorrhoids and didn't know what to do. He talked it around among his friends in search of a cure.
    "We always use tea leaves" said one of his friends, so the unfortunate gentleman gave it a try. He packed his butt-crack full of tea leaves and waddled around for a couple of days to no avail. The discomfort just got worse.

    He finally bit the bullet and went to the doctor. Doctor says" Yep, you got a bad case of the piles. Stop by Walgreens and get yourself some ointment and suppositories. Things should be looking better in a couple of days. And, oh by the way, you're going on a long journey."


    This is from an Elmore Leonard novel.
     
  2. hj

    hj Moderator & Master Plumber Staff Member

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    quote; This is from an Elmore Leonard novel.

    Whew. That's a relief. I thought this might be your own feeble misguided attempt at humor.
     
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  4. fullysprinklered

    fullysprinklered In the Trades

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    That's coming from someone who hasn't had a good laugh since Roosevelt was president.

    Teddy Roosevelt.
     
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  5. hj

    hj Moderator & Master Plumber Staff Member

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    HE and I used to have good laughs together, but the jokes had to be FUNNY.
     
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  6. fullysprinklered

    fullysprinklered In the Trades

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    Ok, tell me a funny joke. The trapper joke did suck, but I had fun putting it together.
     
    Last edited: Nov 28, 2017
  7. Robbie_d

    Robbie_d Member

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    Hmm, this was not a funny joke. That , or I didn't get the punchline.
     
  8. Reach4

    Reach4 Well-Known Member

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    The point was that the friend wanted to use fortune telling techniques by reading the person's tea leaves, but the hemorrhoid sufferer misinterpreted..

    I trust you did not do a spit-take after the reading the explanation. [​IMG]
     
  9. Robbie_d

    Robbie_d Member

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    Hi Reach,
    Oh I see, now.
    The doctor reads tea leaves.
    Ok, that deserves a chuckle.

    Thank you
     
    Last edited: Nov 29, 2017
  10. Reach4

    Reach4 Well-Known Member

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    If the person had asked if he would find relief, that might have been better. That way he would be asking for a forecast.
     
  11. fullysprinklered

    fullysprinklered In the Trades

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    It ain't a joke if you have to explain the joke.
     
  12. CheesecakeLover

    CheesecakeLover New Member

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    Hmmmm.

    > Man: My pipe fitting is leaking.
    > Friend: You should use dope.
    > Man: I used dope, but now it's worse.
    > Friend: Ok don't mess with it! I'll fix it for you. And by the way, here are some potato chips for your munchies.

    It's "funny" because the friend intended to recommend pipe dope, which is something that makes sense to remedy the problem of a leaking pipe, but the man comically misunderstood and used marijuana.

    Now let's look at an analog to the tea leaves "joke":

    > Man: My pipe fitting is leaking.
    > Friend: You should use elephants.
    > Man: I used elephants, but now it's worse.
    > Friend: Remember, "elephants never forget"!

    This makes no sense because there is no relation between the problem (leaking pipe) and elephants.
     
  13. fullysprinklered

    fullysprinklered In the Trades

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  14. hj

    hj Moderator & Master Plumber Staff Member

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    The "explanations" are getting worse than the original "joke", and making even less sense.

    My pipe fitting is leaking even though I used pipe thread tape.
    "Dope"
    Isn't tape just as good?
    I wasn't referring to the threads.
     

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