Can't figure out how to remove 35 year old Kohler diverter valve stem

[confoundedplumber]

I've been working on a leaking shower for a neighbor for about a week now after she decided she wanted the entire shower/tub faucet assembly replaced. The problem lies with the diverter valve stem. When I unscrew the bonnet nut with a valve socket, it comes out and off independent of the actual stem! The thin, metal stem is loose, but doesn't come out, almost as if there is a "T" at the end preventing it from doing so. Everything appears to look exactly like any other valve stem, so I'm at a complete loss what I'm doing wrong here.

Any help would be appreciated!

 

[Terry]

Removing a bonnet nut doesn't allow the stem to come out. It's there with packing to seal around the stem.

 

[Sponsor]

 

[confoundedplumber]

Removing a bonnet nut doesn't allow the stem to come out. It's there with packing to seal around the stem.

Not sure where to start then. Every video I've seen, every tutorial, shows the entire stem coming out when unscrewed with a valve socket. Perhaps I used the wrong terminology--I thought the bonnet nut was the nut holding the stem in place. I'll take some pictures to show what I am dealing with. Thanks for the reply!

 

[Reach4]

I am not a pro.

1. Terminology: https://terrylove.com/forums/index.php?attachments/hose-20bib-jpg.31105/

2. Possible similar valve: https://terrylove.com/forums/index.php?threads/unable-to-remove-valve-stem.57640/

3. If you are going to pitch it anyway, a small angle grinder with a cutoff wheel can do wonders. I just got one, and it cut much faster than a metal cutting blade in my jigsaw. It spews stuff. Wear safety glasses (I did) and maybe a breathing filter (I did not, but had the shield properly placed).