Re: The drunk down the street
Posted by Marty on April 30, 19100 at 23:49:11:
In response to Re: The drunk down the street

Finally, a question, unrelated to plumber that I can answer based on years of experience in the marital trenches. John, just follow these pearls of wisdom, and you'll have your better half eating out of your hand like a hungry puppy!!
1.Keep your mouth shut
2.Do not interrupt her, no matter what she says
3.Listen to her. It may be a good idea to turn the volume down on the remote, put the beer down, or get your nose out of the comic pages at this time
4. For God sake, at least look like your listening!
5.As she's talking, move your head up and down in an approving manner. It may be a good idea to wake up at this point and get your head off the pillow.
6.Stroke your chin, in a way that appears to say to her: HHMMMMMMMM,verrrry interesting.
7. Use the following key phrases, but don't be too patronizing: "Yes Dear"
"Of course, my Dear"
"Anything you say,Dear"
"You're right again"
"I never would have thought of
that, Dearest"
"What a GREAT idea, Honey!"
"This is why I married you!!"
And my personal favorite:"Anything you want to do is alright by me, Dear!"
If these don't work, check out the drunk down the street, maybe he does have a better idea.
So there you go, John, I hope I've been some help. Oh hell, She's yelling again for another beer, I gotta run!! I still haven't done the dishes or finished the laundry!! Good Luck. Marty

My problem is my spouse. We get in these terrible arguments when it comes to how home remodel projects should be done. I explain the best way I know, how it should be done. I make little drawings, showing every little detail, and still she doesn't think I know how to do it. To make matters worse, any other person she talks to with a different opinion is right according to her. If she asked the pizza delivery boy, and he disagreed with me, she would side with him! At times, it seems that even the drunk down the street is more respected than me when it comes to home projects. How do I handle this?
: John

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