Showerhead Blues
Posted by Bud.. Suncoast Plumbing, Inc. on October 29, 1998 at 19:40:00:
I have just installed a new water mixer in my shower. The new shower head is restricted to 2.5 GPM and I am wondering if I can increase the water flow by enlarging the plastic orifice located in the shower arm where the shower head attaches. Any suggestions on increasing the flow? Steve

Steve:It is not my intention to make you paranoid.
However the "WATER POLICE" are everywhere, you'll see them everyday; most drive Mercury Marquis that have light silver or blue metallic paint jobs. There is real danger for those foolish enough to do creative things to their shower heads or toilets in order to increase water flow. There is a more sinister group that is known only as "WATER ENFORCEMENT". They are only active at night or when you leave your home or apartment unattended. They dress in dark clothing and wear John Balushi type sun glasses, even on the darkest nights.
Once you have been fingered by the "Water Police" for enlarging the flow resrictor in your new shower head...all will be lost for you. You will mysteriously disappear in the middle of the night, and no trace of you will ever be found.
Your disappearence will be dismissed as an Alien Abduction, and you will soon be forgotten by all but your grieving Mother or Wife and Children. So Steve....Think it over before entering into a life of crime...Think about your poor old Mom....your Wife...your kids.
If you really have your heart set on a shower head that has a little PIZAZZ, you may wish to buy my patented "Acme Skin Peeler" shower head. It can also be used to remove stubborn oil stains from your driveway or stray cats or dogs from your neighborhood. This E-mail will self destruct in 10 seconds.....f-f-z-z-z-z-tttt.

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