Word has it that the Royal wedding will soon be followed by a recolonization of the United States. That means I'm in line for Governor and I'm starting to make some plans to make your lives a little different. The first two things I am going to fix in this pesky country are as follows. First, all traffic lights will no longer be hung from flimsy bits of cheap American wire that snap and fail in high winds. They will be hung from galvanized steel poles, as in the rest of the Kingdom. Second, there will be no more cheaping out on "left turn only" or "right turn only" lanes. There will be signs and road markings so that drivers know they are in a turn only lane well in advance of the junction. In doing these things I will make Americans less cheap. God Save the Queen.