The Aging Process

Discussion in 'Health and Wellness Forum' started by Cookie, Feb 2, 2011.

  1. Cookie

    Cookie .

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    Reverse for women, almost, a couple "parts" can't apply.

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    A group of 15-year old guys discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they should meet at the Dairy Queen next to the Ocean View restaurant because they only had $6.00 between them and Jannie Johnson, that cute girl in Social Studies, lives on that street and they might see her and they can ride their bikes there.

    Ten years later, the group of 25-year-old guys discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the beer was cheap, they had free snacks, the band was good, there was no cover and there were lots of cute girls.

    Ten years later, at 35 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the booze was good, it was right near the gym and if they went late enough, there wouldn't be too many whiny little kids.

    Ten years later, at 45 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the martinis were big, and the waitresses had nice boobs and wore tight pants.

    Ten years later, at 55 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the prices were reasonable, the wine list was good and fish is good for your cholesterol.

    Ten years later, at 65 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the lighting was good and they have an early bird special.

    Ten years later, at 75 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the food was not too spicy, and the restaurant was handicapped accessible.

    Ten years later, at 85 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they had never been there before.
  2. Cookie

    Cookie .

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    I told my surgeon this morning that I am growing old with him! I have known him for years, he is a great guy with a great sense of humor, especially, for being a military surgeon. This time, I promised him that I wouldn't take my cell phone in the OR and ask him to take messages. Last time I did. I remember him saying when he heard the phone ringing, " she has a cell phone!" I remember, asking him, " take a message okay?" Then, heard him telling my son, " can she call you back, she is alittle busy."

    We laugh about it. The nurse in the examining room was lost and didn't have a clue what we were laughing and talking about.

    The ugly little monster called, NHL, might had reared his ugly head again, this time in a somewhat dangerous place, the side of my neck, my throat. So, since, I don't take too kindly looking like Frankenstein with a bolt (just not sexy), and even if I didn't mind, it has to come out. I have a fear of not waking up, but he assured me, he doesn't have that fear for me. So, when I wake up I will post here, and bug you all, especially, my friend, Ian. lol. We will have an outrageous debate on something good. So, think about a good topic Ian.

    I don't mind it if you send a prayer my way. Infact, I would appreciate it, cause, I got this great grandson, I got to be here for and great kids, really great sons, and, someday...

    I want to be a Mrs. again. That way, I won't have to fix the cars. :)
    Last edited: Feb 4, 2011
  3. Cookie

    Cookie .

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    You have indeed seen it before… but it’s still fun….



    In the hospital, where a family member lay gravely ill, the relatives
    gathered in the waiting room. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired
    and somber.

    'I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news,' he said as he surveyed the
    worried faces. 'The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a
    brain transplant. It's an experimental procedure, very risky, but it is
    the only hope. Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to
    pay for the BRAIN.'


    The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a time, someone asked, 'How much will a brain cost?'


    The doctor quickly responded, '$5,000 for a male brain; $200 for a
    female brain.'


    The moment turned awkward. Some of the men actually had to try to not smile, avoiding eye contact with the women.



    A man unable to control his curiosity, finally blurted out the question
    everyone wanted to ask, 'Why is the male brain so much more than a
    female brain?'



    The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire group, 'It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to price the female brains a lot lower because they've been used.'
  4. ballvalve

    ballvalve General Engineering Contractor

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    The female brains were used to subdue the male brain, and therefore the male brain was running on idle,
    or hibernating for years.

    An ancient greek verse, greatly annotated: " womans main goal is to tear from a man his sword, chisel and compass. A woman will not be satisfied until Hercules grovels at her feet, and her shoe bears his head into the dirt. "

    At age 90, the 2 remaining guys went back to the ocean view for a wake, as they remembered the big boobs on the waitresses from the one previous visit.
  5. hj

    hj Moderator & Master Plumber Staff Member

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    quote; Reverse for women

    Does that mean the 25 year old women would go there because they had never been there before, but the 85 year old women would go there because there are lots of cute guys? The cougars are on the prowl, so lock up your children.
  6. Cookie

    Cookie .

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    Are brains shrinking to make us smarter? Does size really matter?

    WASHINGTON (AFP) – Human brains have shrunk over the past 30,000 years, puzzling scientists who argue it is not a sign we are growing dumber but that evolution is making the key motor leaner and more efficient.

    The average size of modern humans -- Homo sapiens -- has decreased about 10 percent during that period -- from 1,500 to 1,359 cubic centimeters, the size of a tennis ball.

    Women's brains, which are smaller on average than those of men, have experienced an equivalent drop in size.

    These measurements were taken using skulls found in Europe, the Middle East and Asia.

    "I'd called that a major downsizing in an evolutionary eye blink," John Hawks of the University of Michigan told Discover magazine.

    But other anthropologists note that brain shrinkage is not very surprising since the stronger and larger we are, the more gray matter we need to control this larger mass.

    The Neanderthal, a cousin of the modern human who disappeared about 30 millennia ago for still unknown reasons, was far more massive and had a larger brain.

    The Cro-Magnons who left cave paintings of large animals in the monumental Lascaux cave over 17,000 years ago were the Homo sapiens with the biggest brain. They were also stronger than their modern descendants.

    Psychology professor David Geary of the University of Missouri said these traits were necessary to survive in a hostile environment.

    He has studied the evolution of skull sizes 1.9 million to 10,000 years old as our ancestors and cousins lived in an increasingly complex social environment.

    Geary and his colleagues used population density as a measure of social complexity, with the hypothesis that the more humans are living closer together, the greater the exchanges between group, the division of labor and the rich and varied interactions between people.

    They found that brain size decreased as population density increased.

    "As complex societies emerged, the brain became smaller because people did not have to be as smart to stay alive," Geary told AFP.

    But the downsizing does not mean modern humans are dumber than their ancestors -- rather, they simply developed different, more sophisticated forms of intelligence, said Brian Hare, an assistant professor of anthropology at Duke University.

    He noted that the same phenomenon can be observed in domestic animals compared to their wild counterparts.

    So while huskies may have smaller brains than wolves, they are smarter and more sophisticated because they can understand human communicative gestures, behaving similarly to human children.

    "Even though the chimps have a larger brain (than the bonobo, the closest extant relative to humans), and even though a wolf has a much larger brain than dogs, dogs are far more sophisticated, intelligent and flexible, so intelligence is not very well linked to brain size," Hare explained.

    He said humans have characteristics from both the bonobo and chimpanzee, which is more aggressive and domineering.

    "The chimpanzees are violent because they want power, they try to have control and power over others while bonobos are using violence to prevent one for dominating them," Hare continued.

    "Humans are both chimps and bobos in their nature and the question is how can we release more bonobo and less chimp.

    "I hope bonobos win... it will be better for everyone," he added.
    Last edited: Feb 5, 2011
  7. Cookie

    Cookie .

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    To show you all how the mentality of the Super Bowl spills over into all walks of life, I will share with you all about my visit to the surgeon's the other day. I had to fill out the paperwork, and the nurse read where I wrote the reason for the visit was NHL. The 3 of us, the doctor, the nurse and I was sitting in the examining room when she said, " Oh, I see you are a fan!" I thought... a fan? I said, " excuse me, I am not sure what you mean." To the amusement of the surgeon and I, she said, " the SUPERBOWL! NHL!"

    okkkkkkay. I bet her brain is huge

    When we were all finished, and she had left the room, and he asked me if I had any questions, I only had one. "She won't be assisting you in the OR, right?"
    Last edited: Feb 6, 2011
  8. Cookie

    Cookie .

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    Tomorrow is the big day. D-Day. This morning I had blood work, an EKG, and a chest x-ray. I had no water, no coffee, no breakfast and only because I knew the people I had to be civil. I am not a morning person and compound that with going to the worst place in the world ( a hospital) to get done the worst things, and then, take away my coffee... which I love more than life itself, I get a tadbit grumpy. But, they were fast, I think, mainly because they wanted me out of there, :) Boy, does that work. I don't want to be there. I was told I will have a new hairdo tomorrow, kind of punk style. That's okay, it is just hair and will grow back. Now, for my coffee.

    Just a note to make you smile or laugh at how much people take things for granted, I will share this with you all.

    The hospital called and told me that I have to have someone with me at least for 24 hours after they release me. Now, my sons got lives of their own and I refuse to be a burden, so, I said, " yep, someone will be with me." Again, she said, " so someone will be with you?" I said, " yep, Robert and Thomas."

    They are my cats, lol. :) but, I didn't share this with her for obvious reasons.
    Last edited: Feb 8, 2011
  9. Cookie

    Cookie .

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    Here, Ian, this I don't understand.

    Why is it, when you know you cannot eat after a certain hour, you eat everything in site beforehand?
    I have until, midnight then, it is nothing, no water, no food... so, my head has been stuck in the fridge for an hour now.
  10. Cookie

    Cookie .

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    There was this show on tv about "cougars", yikes, it was disgusting. She was about 80 years old and the guy was 40. Wow. What could they talk about?


  11. Terry

    Terry Administrator Staff Member

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    Cookie,
    Don't let them put you in a cab they way they did this guy in Seattle. Funny thing is, it's the same hospital that did my surgery last year.
    But not to worry, they've decided to redo the entire surgery next Fall. What was going to be one major surgery is now becoming four. And hj, the surgeon moved to Arizona.

    UW hospital sends man home in cab story

    Jessica Spencer stepped out of her house in Puyallup on Thursday evening when she saw a strange sight: a man walking down her block in the pouring rain in a hospital gown, bandages on his head, and hospital-issued socks with no shoes.
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2011
  12. Cookie

    Cookie .

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    Terry Love I am fine. I was in and now I am out. I am groggy, but, I am fine. I got a new buzz cut hair do, and what is left to my hair in the back and side area is less than desirable coated with blood which they apologized for, but in a few days I can wash it. I am not real cool looking right now. I had the most wonderful dreams while unders, I saw Tim. I saw my mom. And, dad. I saw them all. Daddy was crying. I said, oh, don't cry daddy. Don't cry. I was talking to tim, and could see hiis mouth moving, his arms and legs moving, my mom looked worried, looked concerned. I told my mom, that I was okay, no worries mom. Tim was touching me, he was touching my face, and how funny, when I was waking up, I heard this voice, the surgeon calling me by my nickname, I think over and over, saying, wake up, now, wake up, and I had asked previously to see what they removed. He was against this. I argued, saying, no, I have to see... so, he was calling my name, and then, I looked at him, and he said, here it is sweetheart... in a small clear cup was this round ball like thing, the size of a half of marable. It was red. I said, that is it? I asked , can you tell what it is? he didn't answer me, and I asked again, and again, until, he said, not for a couple days. I am holding out hope that it is nothing. But, then, it might make my new sporty punky haircut in vain, eh. that is okay, I got to see Tim. He seemed at first so very far away, but he was moving closer and he was becoming clearer, he had on the white shirt and black pants, no tie, he hated ties, my mom was dressed, but I can't remember in what, I remember daddy, just watching me and crying. He made me cry. I reached out to them and at one time i thought i touched them. I thought I touched my mom. I saw them. If only in a dream.

    So back in the room, they took my vitals which was fine, and the nurse said that the doctor said, i sure do talk alot while sleeping. I wonder what he had heard I will have to ask him. They brought me after a while a coffee, which I wanted, and my son came up. My son was crying earlier. Maybe while I was dreaming about crying. I was laughing and kidding with the people, and I was told I was their best patient and they want me weekly. YEAH. Right, I told them.

    I was waiting on escort and stripped my bed, bagged up the garbage, and cleaned the table area. They were laughing, the nurse was yelling, saying, if this was what I was going to do when I got home?

    Nah, I am sipping coffee, yakking on the computer, sharing goofy stuff with people, and, eating eclairs.

    So, I am awake, I am home and so far, I am fine. I wish you the same Terry, so hang in there. We can do it Terry! No one really can understand but us.
  13. Cookie

    Cookie .

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    I am wide-awake and rearing to start the day. I don't look the greatest and I don't really care. I am of course, sipping coffee, which I am relishing, I am not hungry, and was complained to at the hospital for losing another 8 pounds, their problem, not mine; and, now, I am getting ready for work.

    I work only from noon to 4 today, and I am going to have some fun with the people at work. I am going to wear a hat, and when they ask, " what's with the hat?" I will whip it off, saying, "TA-DA!"

    and, tell them... that I am having a bad hair day. :)

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