Retirement / nursing homes

Discussion in 'Health and Wellness Forum' started by Cookie, May 18, 2010.

  1. Cookie

    Cookie .

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    Found this on Yahoo.

    CHICAGO (Reuters) – Seniors who move into residential homes are often at risk for suicide, yet these communities are ill equipped to deal with these problems, U.S. researchers said on Tuesday.

    Older adults typically move to residential homes because of failing health, loss of a spouse or financial insecurity, all factors that can raise the risk of suicide, they said.

    "These adjustments, coupled with an array of risk factors commonly found among seniors -- such as depression, hopelessness, and functional impairment -- can result in suicidal behaviors," Carol Podgorski of the University of Rochester in New York and colleagues wrote in the Public Library of Science journal PLoS Medicine.

    Widowing, divorce, substance abuse, loss and family discord also can push an older adult toward suicide, Podgorski said in a statement.

    Yet policies regarding the best way to deal with suicide prevention in these settings are sparse, she said.

    That may become more important as the first baby boomers start turning 65 in 2011.

    According to Alliance for Aging Research, by 2030 almost one out of every five Americans, or 72 million people, will be 65 or older, and about 80 percent of seniors have at least one chronic health condition.

    Currently, adults over 65 make up 12.4 percent of the U.S. population, yet they account for 14 percent of all suicides, the team reported.

    Suicides are highest among white men over 85. Methods vary by gender. Women are more likely to use suffocation or poisoning, including prescription drugs, while men are more likely to use firearms, Podgorski said.

    "About 75 percent of older adults who die by suicide have never made a prior attempt, but because they tend to use more lethal means, they are more likely to die in an attempt," Podgorski and colleagues wrote.

    They said public health systems and residential communities can counter suicidal behavior in residential communities by:

    * Identifying at risk seniors who are depressed;

    * Increasing access to mental health and substance abuse services;

    * Treating medical conditions and chronic pain;

    * Promoting social networks and support;

    * Decreasing access to firearms, drugs and other lethal means of suicide.
  2. Been quite a few suicide attempts in the area where I live, according to someone on the fire dept. Most are failed attempts but one actually succeeded recently.

    Younger people dying more than average according to a local funeral home I work for.
  3. jimbo

    jimbo Plumber

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  4. Cookie

    Cookie .

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    Several years ago, an older man I had known had lost his wife. He was in WW2 a Navy Seabee. He had shown me countless pictures and I had listened to countless stories, all of which was rich in holding one's attention and admiration for him.

    After WW2, he worked briefly as a carpenter, building impressive hotels and homes. Mostly, he worked as a fellow writer. There he was an ace.

    I got a phone call one day and learned he had taken his own life in his garage. His health was failing and he had still missed his wife. Life for him fissled out like a sparkler on the 4th of July.

    He only had left a nephew. And a friend.
  5. leejosepho

    leejosepho DIY scratch-pad engineer

    I do not know whether my widowed mother-in-law has ever been suicidal, but I do know I have never seen her eyes light up so greatly as this afternoon when my wife and I told her we will be bringing her out of the nursing home and back into her own home tomorrow.

    Children need to show their parents far more "honor" than that of conveniently sticking them out-of-the-way somewhere.
  6. Cookie

    Cookie .

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    Too true. I think what you and your wife is doing is wonderful. Your mother in law is really a lucky lady.

    Something funny happened about a year ago when I ripped my knee out of the socket jumping, don't ask, lol why. I had to get my youngest son to help me up off the sofa, and after I called for him this one time I asked him, " what are you going to do with me when I am 88?" and he said, " finest nursing home, mom, finest nursing home."

    I am more careful to check his room for brochures now. :)
  7. leejosepho

    leejosepho DIY scratch-pad engineer

    My mother-in-law hit 88 just a few days ago!

    My wife and I took my truck over and picked up most of her stuff yesterday, and I could not help but notice so many parents and grandparents just sitting there in the dining room wasting away. Several looked up from their wheelchairs and were quick to offer/accept some kind of greeting while I was carrying stuff out of the place, and once I almost cried while wondering what must be going through some of their minds: Was I carrying stuff out because somebody died? If so, they are reminded they might be next ... and to tell them my wife and I were actually in the process of taking someone home almost seemed cruel. One man who is obviously a grandfather any child could enjoy actually joked about doing "life without parole" in that place, but maybe he will be fine if he had accepted his fate before he got there.
  8. leejosepho,


    Post back in about 6 months, showing the hair on your head before AND after, and tell us if you had to buy a bell so she can ring it for her needs.

    You are in the honeymoon phase bro!


    Don't taze me bro!!!
  9. Cookie

    Cookie .

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    If my parents had lived longer beyond their 50's and early 60's, I would had gladly taken them in for the rest of their lives. Boy do I miss them.

    I already told my kids make my room up when I hit 80. :)

    ... forgot to add, my bell is going to be the size, shape and volume of the Liberty Bell. It won't be able to hold a candle to mine.
    Last edited: May 29, 2010
  10. leejosepho

    leejosepho DIY scratch-pad engineer

    I hear you, and I know it will likely not be long before something comes up. My mother-in-law pretty much ran this house while she and her husband (who never openly disagreed or argued with her) were both still here. But, this home is still hers and there is no one else to be here with her so she can be here.

    As recommended by a consultant and in order to make it impossible for her to ever again lock herself in her room and pout -- a geriatric "hunger strike" -- we have removed the door to her room and hung a curtain in its place. Then, we have also purchased a double-lock security cabinet for her meds so we will never again have to wonder what happened to her supply before the end of the month arrived. Overall, however, and even as much as I hate to say this, I think the past year and a half in the nursing home has shown her there is no longer anything to be gained by trying to get people to do anything other than what they are already set to do. And for my wife's sake, I have told her (my wife) to deflect everything off to me ... and I am not easily moved or even swayed!

  11. Damn dude...you're making my bell ringing statements sound innocent in all this, like dropping a piece of gum on a sidewalk.

    I wish you the best in your efforts but it sounds extreme.
  12. leejosepho

    leejosepho DIY scratch-pad engineer

    I might be messing up your thread here, Cookie, but anything related to anybody needing a sense of wholeness in life (or who could be a candidate for diapers) is at least close, eh?!

    Today my mother-in-law surprised me quite a bit by telling me she feels like she could burst into tears at any moment. See, my father-in-law actually went into a nursing home first (because of fatigue and respiratory trouble), then she followed a while later and he died about a year ago just a few months after that. So, now she is back here in the house for the first time in almost two years and is really just now truly grieving and beginning the process of closure.

    On another note: She wears a 3-day narcotic patch for some serious chronic pain, and today we left the old patch on for a couple of hours after applying the new one in order to avoid a painful twice-weekly gap in medication while waiting for a new patch to kick in ... and there is one of my complaints about nursing homes. For whatever reason, nobody moved her patch-application time to earlier in the day rather than at bedtime, and nobody ever did anything about her having to lay in pain until at least midnight on "patch day". Three nights ago I laid and listened to her cry until I fell asleep, and tonight she and my wife chatted happily until they both fell asleep!

    "Hospice" is a fancy word for euthanasia ... and maybe unnecessary suffering can make even suicide look good for some folks.
  13. Cookie

    Cookie .

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    You are not messing up my thread or anything, that is why it is here. I don't believe in that hi-jacking business or such, I love it when people post and when I read something I think might interest folks I post it. So, post away all you want about anything you want. That goes for anyone here.

    Yes, you are probably right about your mother in law grieving now. I would agree with that with you.
    Closure is a tough thing. It is just as it means, an ending. That is tough for anyone. It takes time. And, I think maybe, everyone is different in how long, and what circumstances are at the time.

    That is a shame about the pain patches. I swear sometimes the medical field people just don't think. Years ago, I saw this movie, which I cannot remember the name of at all, but I have thought about this movie so many times that I wish I could remember the name. But, it was about a doctor who made all his interns go through exactly what they would or were doing to their patients, the tests, etc. the daily grind.

    I am pretty sure it was a movie based on truth and fact, and if I remember correctly it made the interns better doctors for they were able to relate to patients feelings and concerns.

    No one should be in pain. You are doing right with the patches, and bringing her home.
  14. leejosepho

    leejosepho DIY scratch-pad engineer

    Great idea! I once had a medication swelling my throat closed, and a doctor said something about pollen or whatever and that I would be fine after the first freeze in the fall. Since then, I have never taken anything without first looking it up in the PRD ... and doing that can make some doctors angry when patients can prescribe (or at least make the call) better than they can.

    One of the more interesting stories I have heard is about a doctor who offered a large sum of money to any other doctor willing to drink a glass of whatever solutions they use for the delivery of vaccines, sans any actual vaccine, and nobody has yet taken him up on it. I might look into my mother-in-law's meds a bit just to see what she is being given, but the fact she is doing so well at 88 suggests being very cautious about changing anything.

    Oh, and I should acknowledge "Alex", the night nurse at the nursing home here. My mother-in-law has been home for four days now, but he still took the time to talk with my wife on the phone for a bit last night to answer a couple of questions she had about some over-the-counter supplements her mother had been taking there.
  15. Cookie

    Cookie .

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    I have been looking for that movie again. I don't think this is the movie but, I remember seeing this one, too, and it enlightens those who need enlightened.

    The name of it is simply, The Doctor.
    Made in 1991.

    Editorial Reviews
    Amazon.com
    William Hurt is perfectly cast as an arrogant surgeon who treats patients like interchangeable cogs in the machinery of his medical practice. Then he is diagnosed with throat cancer and, as the title of the memoir on which it is based tells us, he gets a taste of his own medicine. The subplot involves the solidarity between doctors, which is shattered when the newly conscious physician discovers that one of his partners (Mandy Patinkin) is trying to cover up a case of malpractice. Hurt is solid, as is Wendy Crewson as the doctor who treats him and Elizabeth Perkins as a fellow cancer patient. Interestingly, Hurt's fellow actors Patinkin, Adam Arkin, and Christine Lahti all wound up playing doctors on TV's Chicago Hope. --Marshall Fine
    Product Description
    Reunited for the first time since their Academy Award(R)-nominated CHILDREN OF A LESSER GOD, screen favorite William Hurt and director Randa Haines team up for another successful collaboration in THE DOCTOR. Oscar(R)-winning Hurt (Best Actor, 1986 -- KISS OF THE SPIDER WOMAN) joins Christine Lahti (RUNNING ON EMPTY), Mandy Patinkin (THE PRINCESS BRIDE), and Elizabeth Perkins (BIG) in the hit release that's been hailed as one of the must-see films of the year. It's the uplifting story of a man who becomes an extraordinary surgeon, as well as an extraordinary person, once he experiences firsthand what it's like being an ordinary patient. Touching hearts of critics and audiences alike, THE DOCTOR promises to entertain and inspire you from beginning to end.
  16. Cookie

    Cookie .

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    Just like in all fields there are good ones and bad ones. It is nice when you meet someone like your Alex.

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