Raj's SEO Service's $7.99 Flat "Guaranteed Page One On Goggle" - For Contractors Only

Discussion in 'Joke of the day' started by johnfrwhipple, May 30, 2013.

  1. johnfrwhipple

    johnfrwhipple Bathroom Design & Build - North Vancouver, B.C.

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    North Vancouver, BC
    Joke of the day update

    So this busy little Joke post is gaining exposure.

    I keep adding the SPAM emails that come in to this discussion on SEO Service's for contractors and the daily average projected for a year puts the viewers in the 22,000 range for one year.

    LOL

    Love the coverage.

    Terry you should sell banner advertising on this page for anyone named Raj - that works in SEO Services.
  2. johnfrwhipple

    johnfrwhipple Bathroom Design & Build - North Vancouver, B.C.

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    Deep Discounts for contractors only - Raj's SEO Services now only $6.99 Limited Time

    New price update for Contractors!!!!

    Raj asked me to tell you that from now on anyone mentioning the secret word of the day will get a steep discount on SEO Services. Rebates of up to one dollar for finding or guessing the secret word of the day. To find out where the secret word is please read the steps below fully before searching.

    Step One: it's on a odd numbered page
    Step Two: it does not start with a letter below the letter "M" in the alphabet
    Step Three: the word is not in bold type or Italic
    Step Four: the word is in the title section of the posts NOT THE BODY
    Step Five: remember this is a joke page so really there is no secret word of the day (sorry if you searched)
    Step Six: this thread is reaching 10,000 views in only five months. Smoking hot and very active.

    Looks like we have a winner.

    Thanks Raj.
  3. johnfrwhipple

    johnfrwhipple Bathroom Design & Build - North Vancouver, B.C.

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    Location:
    North Vancouver, BC
    $7.99 SEO Services

    [​IMG]

    $7.99 SEO Services for Contractors Only.
  4. johnfrwhipple

    johnfrwhipple Bathroom Design & Build - North Vancouver, B.C.

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    $7.99 Flat Rate SEO Christmas Special Offer

    Good Day.

    I'm Raj, Business Development Manager at Raj's Seo Services, I would like to discuss a business opportunity with you.

    We are a SEO firm, with over 5 years of experience. We have been partnering with various digital agencies over U.S., UK, Australia and Canada.

    Since your company By Any Design Ltd. offers Web services to its clients, may I propose a business association between my firm and yours?

    With our organization you get an advantage of working with an SEO agency which.

    1) 150+ professionals which includes 80+ full time SEO experts to serve you

    2) Has serviced 500+ clients across various domains through a team of qualified and dedicated professionals

    3) Has strong post sales service and an 80% client retention score annually

    4) Has dedicated account managers for different project

    5) Has well chalked out process and deliver work on time 99.9% times

    6) Has a rich Google ad word certified resource pool

    Together we can provide affordable, high quality and 100% ethical SEO, Designing & Development services to clients.

    I'd be happy to send some of our SEO Samples, if you'd like to assess our work.

    You can get more details. Kindly revert back if you are interested.

    Awaiting your response and looking forward to a long term association with you!

    Kind Regards,
    Raj,
    Business Development Manager
    Note: - Though this is not an automated email, we keep on sending out these emails to all those people whom we find eligible of using our services. To unsubscribe from future mails (i.e. To ensure that we do not contact you again for this matter), Please send a blank mail, with NO as the Subject.
  5. johnfrwhipple

    johnfrwhipple Bathroom Design & Build - North Vancouver, B.C.

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    Location:
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    RAJ's Wise Web Leads : New American Division 3255 Wilshire Los Angeles, CA

    Well it's no surprise Raj is expanding into the US market. With the success of his $7.99 flat rate SEO service for contractors he has moved his over seas office all the way to a new California office into the new shiny buildings at 3255 Wilshire Los Angeles, CA. Same great service but new local hang out.

    Raj is sending out this new press release for watch for it soon in an inbox near you....


    For Immediate Release
    Raj's Wise Web Leads - 3255 Wilshire, Los Angeles


    Wise Web Lead Annoucement;

    I'm Raj - your wise web lead guru. I think I can make a few critical changes (SEO/Marketing-wise) to make your site place higher in organic search results, and most importantly, more profitable.

    This is NOT like one of those foreign emails you probably get in your inbox every day. Just to be upfront I have 3 agents that work with me for SEO.

    Would you be open to having one of my agents conduct an Extensive Analysis on your site? (Doesn't cost a penny) At the least, you’ll have more qualified opinions making your web presence more profitable.

    Would just need some brief information on your business in order to get started.

    (P.S. If not, let me know and I won’t attempt to follow up again...appreciate your time.)

    Regards,

    Raj Jar
    CEO
    Raj's Wise Web Leads
    3255 Wilshire
    Los Angeles


    [​IMG]
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2014
  6. Justadrip

    Justadrip New Member

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    New York
    That's 5 minutes of my life i will never get back.
  7. johnfrwhipple

    johnfrwhipple Bathroom Design & Build - North Vancouver, B.C.

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    Maybe if you actually read the first post you would have seen it was a "Joke".

    You are not the sharpest tool in the box are you "Little Lady of New York"....


    Post #1....

    Second Paragraph...

    You might think this sounds like a joke and you would be not be wrong in thinking that.

    Is that to witty for you to understand "Little Lady"? It means that if you thought this was a joke - then you are right in your thinking...


    HI,

    We are a Delhi NCR, India based leading on line Marketing Company with the core Skills in Website Design and Development, Mobile design and Mobile App. We have vast experience in dealing with the clients across the globe; most of our clients are from US, UK, Australia, Canada, Germany and Netherlands.

    We have earned 5000+ hours working experience in developing the professional design with attractive approach in the latest technologies like Joomla, Magento, Zencart, Wordpress, Code Ignator (CI), Core PHP, OS Commerce,MySQL,Asp.Net,MYSQL Server 2005 or 2008,DotNetnuke,Perl,Drupal,Jsp,HTML,CSS,Design-Flash,Photoshop,Corel,Eccomerce,Vertual Matr,Paypal,Fed Ex etc.

    All the developed projects cater into the various markets ranging from small to large Business Enterprises. We have a strong, highly experienced and dedicated team with relative experience in developing the websites. Our creative team is competent enough to convert your ideas into the real working websites.

    We would like to collect your thoughts so that we could show you our creativity.

    Look forward to your positive reply with our services.

    Regards

    Raj

    Disclaimer: The CAN-SPAM Act of 2003 (Controlling the Assault of Non-Solicited ****ography and Marketing Act) establishes requirements for those who send commercial email, spells out penalties for spammers and companies whose products are advertised in spam if they violate the law, and gives consumers the right to ask mailers to stop spamming them. The above mail is in accordance to the Can Spam act of 2003: There are no deceptive subject lines and is a manual process through our efforts on World Wide Web. You can opt out by sending mail and we ensure you will not receive any such mails.
    Last edited: Apr 28, 2014
  8. Justadrip

    Justadrip New Member

    Messages:
    66
    Location:
    New York
    But its not even remotely funny. That's the premise of a joke,the funny part.
  9. johnfrwhipple

    johnfrwhipple Bathroom Design & Build - North Vancouver, B.C.

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    You don't understand the Joke "Little Lady"

    The joke is on the SEO companies. They call and email me. I say I'm working with Raj and get a $7.99 flat rate. Then they goggle their competion and find this discussion. Then they click the link. Read it and in doing so give the discussion more rankings.

    Then I cut and paste their own words into the content here. Giving me free copy with no time. Their words to beat them at their own game.

    I find that funny.

    This is the busiest discussion I think on Terry'e forum by a long shot. I find that funny.

    Hi,

    Greetings of the day!

    We are one of the leading on line Marketing Company with the core Skills in Website Design and Development. We have vast experience in dealing with the clients across the globe; most of our clients are from US, Europe, Australia, Canada, Germany and Netherlands.

    We have a strong, highly experienced and dedicated team with relative experience in developing the websites. You can use us for your website “www.no-curb.com” or for creation of any new ones. Our creative team is competent enough to convert your ideas into the real working websites.

    We have earned 5000+ hours working experience in developing the professional design with attractive approach in the latest technologies like Joomla, Magneto, Zen cart, Word press, Code Igniter (CI), Core PHP, OS Commerce etc.

    All the developed projects cater into the various markets ranging from small to large Business Enterprises.

    We would like to collect your thoughts so that we could show you our creativity.

    Look forward to your positive reply with our services.

    Regards,
    Raj
    Last edited: Apr 28, 2014
  10. johnfrwhipple

    johnfrwhipple Bathroom Design & Build - North Vancouver, B.C.

    Messages:
    4,144
    Location:
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    Raj's SEO Service: Web Site Re-Design Fee only $7.99

    Raj here,

    I found your details from the internet and thought you might be interested
    in our website re-design service.

    Redesigning websites today isn't just about changing the look and feel -it's about making more money for me and my sales team.

    With technology changing and different problems needing to be solved,
    redesigning and overhauling websites goes much deeper than just the way
    they look. We charge only $7.99 for this fee since we use children and retired men for most of the source code. The functionality, presentation, how they load, and how well
    they can be updated are all things that are prompting website redesigns on
    a daily basis. Apart from giving your website a new look, we will provide
    you with a dynamic Content Management System (CMS).

    We specialize in re-designing and re-developing websites If you are
    considering any of the following projects then please give us a call:

    • Upgrading your current website
    Spamming other business
    • Moving to a content management solution for your website
    phoning and phoning and phoning
    • Re-building your website
    • Looking for a refreshing new look for an existing site
    • Usability
    • Getting legacy content online
    • Planning to integrate rich media content into your site like internet
    video
    • Adding community and Web2.0 features to your website

    Of course I'm the SEO King also have expertise in SEO (Search Engine Optimisation) and can also
    help you get top rankings on major search engines such as Google, Yahoo and
    MSN. With first page rankings on search engines, you can see more number of
    visitors on your website, which will eventually lead to a better ROI.

    We would like 5 minutes of your time at a date/time suitable to you and
    show you how we can add value to your business and help improve your bottom
    line.

    I Look forward to hearing from you soon.

    Regards,

    Raj
    Online Marketing Guru to the stars


    LOL - this is my best post yet....
  11. johnfrwhipple

    johnfrwhipple Bathroom Design & Build - North Vancouver, B.C.

    Messages:
    4,144
    Location:
    North Vancouver, BC
    My name is Raj from Raj's SEO Services

    Hi,

    Just wanted to reach out: I'm on your website and noticed a few concerning areas (SEO, Visibility, Conversion) where I see tremendous room for improvement. I have no doubt they are immensely impacting your site's profitability, and would like to help.

    I'm a REAL person, my name is Raj from Raj's SEO Services. I work with several consultants that can show CASE STUDIES of work done. Just to be clear, my consultants have decades of experience between them, most are small children and old men who we keep caged to their desks - this way we can keep the pricing very low and meet the $7.99 price point. lol that's a joke people. Remember this is posted in Joke of the Day.

    Would you be open to speaking briefly on some of the areas of concern? To drive home the point, my consultants will run a complimentary Web Needs Analysis (Won't cost you a thing) that will at least provide some insight on some actionable practices.

    All I would need to know is whether you would be open to speaking briefly with my consultants to get started.

    (P.S.: If not, let me know and I promise I won’t follow up again. Thanks for your time.)

    Regards,

    Raj

    Raj's SEO Serivces

    Hi There,

    I found your details from the internet and thought you might be interested
    in our website re-design service.

    Redesigning websites today isn't just about changing the look and feel.

    With technology changing and different problems needing to be solved,
    redesigning and overhauling websites goes much deeper than just the way
    they look. The functionality, presentation, how they load, and how well
    they can be updated are all things that are prompting website redesigns on
    a daily basis. Apart from giving your website a new look, we will provide
    you with a dynamic Content Management System (CMS).

    We specialize in re-designing and re-developing websites If you are
    considering any of the following projects then please give us a call:

    • Upgrading your current website
    • Moving to a content management solution for your website
    • Re-building your website
    • Looking for a refreshing new look for an existing site
    • Usability
    • Getting legacy content online
    • Planning to integrate rich media content into your site like internet
    video
    • Adding community and Web2.0 features to your website

    We also have expertise in SEO (Search Engine Optimisation) and can also
    help you get top rankings on major search engines such as Google, Yahoo and
    MSN. With first page rankings on search engines, you can see more number of
    visitors on your website, which will eventually lead to a better ROI.

    We would like 15 minutes of your time at a date/time suitable to you and
    show you how we can add value to your business and help improve your bottom
    line.

    I Look forward to hearing from you soon.

    Regards,

    Raj
    Online Marketing Manager

    Disclaimer: The CAN-SPAM Act of 2003 (Controlling the Assault of
    Non-Solicited ****ography and Marketing Act) establishes requirements for
    those who send commercial email, spells out penalties for spammers and
    companies whose products are advertised in spam if they violate the law,
    and gives consumers the right to ask mailers to stop spamming them. The
    above mail is in accordance to the Can Spam act of 2003: There are no
    deceptive subject lines and is a manual process through our efforts on
    World Wide Web. You can opt out by sending revert mail, with Remove please
    as the Subject and we ensure you will not receive any such mails.
  12. johnfrwhipple

    johnfrwhipple Bathroom Design & Build - North Vancouver, B.C.

    Messages:
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    Location:
    North Vancouver, BC
    SEO is dead as we know it !!! I think not says Raj

    Dear Sir/Madam

    I am Raj

    (Marketing Department)

    Thank you in advance for taking the time out of your busy day to read and consider this.

    SEO is dead as we know it. The old math of increased back links and stuffing keywords is now a target for Google to identify your site and bury it in the search results.

    SEO is no longer a math problem, it's a human one. Social indicators are becoming key to Ranking and link algorithms are being retired. It's time for you to see the truth about SEO and adjust accordingly.

    So, here we got a customized Internet Marketing Proposal for you.

    Here below is the content marketing activities "Monthly Task and responsibilities"



    1. 200 Press Release Submissions (20 press release x 10 press release websites)

    2. 20 Press releases, 400+ words written

    3. 5 Unique Articles will be written

    4. 5 Web 2.0 Properties will be made

    5. 5 Unique "how to Articles" will be written

    6. 5 Face book Pages will be created

    7. 5 Twitter channels will be created

    8. Will increase twitter followers?

    9. 1 YouTube channel will be created

    10. 10 YouTube videos will be created by Animoto.com (paid)

    11. Will likes, shares, tweets, reedits, and 1+ in order to get natural back links

    12. Anchor text diversity (will not use exact keywords for back links).

    13. Will get Natural back links by link worthy articles

    14. Will draft & submit 5 articles to Ezinearticles.com

    15. Will create Google+ page for your business

    16 will distribute 15 posts daily via Google+ Page

    17. Will participate in Forum

    18. Will create blog for your website

    19. Will make 1 post daily on your blog

    20. Will bookmark real content to leading 150 Social Book marking sites as dig, delicious

    21. Will submit your website to 10 leading Web directories as Dmoz.org On-Page work activities "Follow only first month".

    22. Meta tags/Title tag changes

    23. Keyword research/Analysis

    24. Competitor Analysis

    25. Analysis by our Paid SEOMoz Program

    26. Heading tag changes

    27. Alt tag changes

    28. Interlinking wherever required

    29. Keyword density in site content

    30. HTML Site Map

    31. XML site map and Submission in webmaster tool

    32. Ror.XML File creation

    33. Robots.Txt File creation Extra work activities

    34. Google Webmaster tool

    35. Google Analytics

    36. Html to text ratio optimization

    37. Keyword Prominence

    Sounds interesting? Feel free to email us or alternatively you can provide me with your phone number and the best time to call you.

    Many Thanks

    Raj

    Manager (Marketing Department)




    This email is free from viruses and malware because avast! Antivirus protection is active.
  13. johnfrwhipple

    johnfrwhipple Bathroom Design & Build - North Vancouver, B.C.

    Messages:
    4,144
    Location:
    North Vancouver, BC
    Raj Business Development Manager

    Hello sir,

    Hope you are doing great!

    We are an offshore Web Design, Application Development, & SEO company from Delhi, India. We are a team of 200+ experienced IT professionals dedicated to deliver tailor made IT solutions & business applications to help our clients build & scale their market presence, branding and marketing via web, windows and mobile platforms.

    We have been delivering US, UK, Israel, Sweden, AU & Europe based clients from over five years. We are seeking good business relations with you and your company. We have been delivering web, windows and mobile based designs and applications to the industries and domains like E-Commerce, Fashion, Retail, FMCG, Education, Corporate Houses, Parcel Shipment and Logistics, Hotel Tour and Travel Industry.

    Our full service design firm offers the following services and products:

    (1) Logo Design Bootstrap Corporate Identity, Branding,.
    (2) CMS (Drupal, Wordpress, Magento, etc)
    (3) Web Site Design, Web Site Development, Flash Design ,2D/3D .
    (4) Multimedia presentations, Trade/Slideshow Multimedia
    (5) Banner Ads, Brochures, Illustrations, Custom Design
    (6) Internet Marketing, Search Engine Optimization
    (7) E-Commerce Solutions, iPhone, Android Apps Development.

    We are Professional, Trustworthy, and Reliable and offer Quality Service Experience and a Quick Turn!
    If you are interested, then I can send you our past work details, company information and an affordable quotation with the best offer.

    Can I know in which Service are you interested in?

    PROFESSIONAL TRUSTWORTHY RELIABLE QUALITY SERVICE

    Best Regards,
    Raj
    Business Development Manager
  14. johnfrwhipple

    johnfrwhipple Bathroom Design & Build - North Vancouver, B.C.

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    4,144
    Location:
    North Vancouver, BC
    Want more clients and customers?

    Dear Web Owner

    Want more clients and customers?

    We will help them find you by putting you on the 1st page of Google.

    We have some special offers this season.

    Email us back to get a full proposal.

    Thanks
    Raj
    Business Development Consultant
  15. johnfrwhipple

    johnfrwhipple Bathroom Design & Build - North Vancouver, B.C.

    Messages:
    4,144
    Location:
    North Vancouver, BC
    Six Days to go till this joke thread has been up for a year. Who wants to bet that this discussion sees 30,000 views in one year?
  16. johnfrwhipple

    johnfrwhipple Bathroom Design & Build - North Vancouver, B.C.

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    4,144
    Location:
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    It's going to be close. How can I get this discussion to pass 30,000 views in a year..... THINK
  17. johnfrwhipple

    johnfrwhipple Bathroom Design & Build - North Vancouver, B.C.

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    The sexiest SEO Girl in the world.

    Of course she was discovered and trained by Raj himself.

    [​IMG]
    Sexy Blonde SEO Master

    [​IMG]
    Last edited: Jul 30, 2014
  18. johnfrwhipple

    johnfrwhipple Bathroom Design & Build - North Vancouver, B.C.

    Messages:
    4,144
    Location:
    North Vancouver, BC
    This experiment of mine has been an epic success. 30,000 views in one year for a pretend SEO provider. Raj is the man.

    Some predictions for next year. 70,000 total view count.

    Hello,

    Greetings of the day!

    My name is Raj and working with a reputed leading S.E.O. Company having the experience of getting our customer's websites top in Google, Yahoo and Msn and other search engine rankings producing high revenue with top page rank.

    We provide a S.E.O. Special Offer going for the following package...

    Monthly task and Responsibilities –

    Ø Social Bookmarking Submissions
    Ø Article Submissions
    Ø Press Release Submissions
    Ø Blog Submissions
    Ø Unique article written
    Ø Unique words press releases
    Ø Meta tags changes suggestions
    Ø Keyword research
    Ø Competitor Analysis
    Ø Heading tag changes
    Ø Alt tag changes
    Ø Keyword Density in site content.
    Ø HTML Site Map
    Ø XML site map and Submission in webmaster tool


    Let me know if you are interested I would be Happy to send you more details.

    Thanks & Regards
    Raj
    Online Marketing Consultant

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  19. johnfrwhipple

    johnfrwhipple Bathroom Design & Build - North Vancouver, B.C.

    Messages:
    4,144
    Location:
    North Vancouver, BC
    Houston, Texas SEO Service for Contractors only $7.99 USD

    Hi,

    My name is Raj - I work with a small business marketing team here in Houston.

    Have you ever wondered how many extra customers you'd have if your business was at the top of Google? Well, here's your chance to find out, with absolutely zero risk.

    We have launched our “Performance-Based-SEO Campaignâ€. There is no risk, no upfront fees, no setup fees, no monthly fees, it’s guaranteed SEO. You ONLY have to pay when your website reach page 1 on Google on the keywords of your choice.

    We'll bring you leads, enquiries and sales which you get to keep regardless of whether you decide to continue with our service or not.

    We know, that once you start getting consistent leads and sales, you'll want to continue using our service, so we're prepared to do all of the work and make such a strong offer to you.

    We'd like to have a chance at your business and are prepared to go above and beyond to prove to you that we can bring you extra customers.

    Can one of our marketing guys give you a quick call later this week to discuss this?

    Who's the best person there to speak with about this - and what's their contact number?

    Thanks in advance - We look forward to hearing from you soon.

    Raj
    Houston, Texas
    *If this email has reached you by mistake or if you do not wish to take advantage of this great opportunity, please accept my apology for any inconvenience caused and rest assured that you will not be contacted again.
  20. johnfrwhipple

    johnfrwhipple Bathroom Design & Build - North Vancouver, B.C.

    Messages:
    4,144
    Location:
    North Vancouver, BC
    SEO NEWS UPDATE:

    Raj is trying to get Ayesha Takia of Bombay to be the new spokeswomen for Raj's SEO Services. Raj has always had a huge crush on this Indian Actress and Model. Fingers crossed Raj.

    [​IMG]
    Is this the newest spokeswomen for Raj's SEO Services? Lets hope.

    This young lady was born the year I graduated High School - makes me feel old.

    RAJ's Site Ranking Plan of the Week

    Here is my site ranking plan of the week. At Raj's SEO Services all of this is done for you at the one time low price of $7.99 US. No added fees. No Monthly premiums. Eight Bucks and your done.

    We are the best IT company with primary focus on Search Engine Optimization (SEO), Web Designing and all Internet Services. We have a dedicated team of 800+ professionals to serve you in building appropriate links and developing SEO.


    We can provide you with a fresh, professional image via a recognizable trademark or logo design. Our experts work to tight deadlines and are wholly dedicated to maintaining your online presence. Most firms overseas have achieved a significant amount of savings by outsourcing either complete or part of their work to us in India.


    Other Affordable Search Engine Optimization Services Provided By Us:


    1. SEO (Search Engine Optimization)

    2. Press Release

    3. Article Submission/Article Writing

    4. Blog Submissions/Writing

    5. Directory Submission

    6. Social Media Optimization


    Take an advantage of our highly successful internet marketing service at very affordable Price for your website.


    If you have any query, we will be more than happy to provide you our quick assistance.


    Kind Regards,


    RAJ THE SEO MASTER

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