Oh, Yikes!

Discussion in 'Joke of the day' started by Cookie, Nov 19, 2011.

  1. Cookie

    Cookie .

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    That is the name of the new book I got at Half-Price for 50cents on clearance, but, in it, are some fascinating facts about history's grossest, wackiest moments ( as advertised on the cover, lol.)

    I thought I would share.

    It was a toss up since this is a plumbing site, should I first go with something about TP, or something which is my number 1# Pet Peeve. I thought about this, and decided on my number 1# Pet Peeve. BAD TABLE MANNERS, here goes.

    MANNERS MATTERED

    Moms have been yelling at their kids for centuries about their table behavior. Here's a proof--actual rules from European table manner guides that date back several centuries. (Remember---at mealtimes everyone usually shared one big plate.) did you know that, I didn't...

    *From the 13th century:

    Do not fall upon a dish like a swine, while eating, or snorting disgustedly.
    Do not gnaw on a bone and then put it back in the dish

    *From the 14th century:
    Do not blow your nose in the tablecloth*

    *From the 15th century:
    Do not put back on the plate what has been in your mouth

    * Nose blowing at the table was a big no-no. But, what if you had to? It was quiet acceptable to blow your nose into your fingers. There were no tissues in those days and hardly anyone had hankerchiefs either.

    That's it... blow your nose in your fingers around me and you will lose them, lol.
  2. hj

    hj Moderator & Master Plumber Staff Member

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    quote; *From the 14th century:
    Do not blow your nose in the tablecloth*

    They had tablecloths then?

    quote; There were no tissues in those days and hardly anyone had hankerchiefs either.

    Maybe that was why they used the tablecloth.
  3. Cookie

    Cookie .

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    Here check this one out, HJ, lol...

    The Lady that Gave Birth to Rabbits

    The 1700's are sometimes called the Age of the Enlightenment. You know those pictures of a lightbulb going off over someone's head? That was what was happening all over. People were supposed to be getting smarter. Superstitution was supposed to be making way for science. Yet some of the greatest hoaxes were ever born in that era.

    Try this one for size:

    In 1726, newpapers and town criers everywhere shared the amazing news about Mary Toft. She had gotten pregnant, but instead of giving birth to a baby, she had given birth to a rabbit. (IAN, I am not making this up, lol.) In London, Mary became a huge celebrity. She convinced everyone ---even the city's best doctors, which doesn't say much for the state of medical knowledge at that time---- that she was the mom of a bunny.

    Eventually, when surgeons wanted to hack her open to take a closer look, she was forced to confess that in fact the " baby" was rabbit parts---actually, dead rabbit parts--- and her fame hippity-hopped away.

    :)
    Last edited: Nov 19, 2011
  4. Cookie

    Cookie .

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    This is not a joke, but, it is to me very funny,

    ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. (AP) — A New Mexico restaurant employee says he's now seen it all, after three men left his diner with rolls of toilet paper and were nabbed in the parking lot by police.

    Burgers, Dogs and Wings employee Josh Flannery-Stewart tells KOAT-TV (http://bit.ly/rtVXdL ) in Albuquerque that he was immediately suspicious of the men when they came in Saturday because they weren't talking and appeared "messed up."

    The three went into the bathroom and emerged carrying about a dozen rolls of toilet paper. They got in a car in the parking lot, but didn't get far.

    Albuquerque police apparently already had the trio under surveillance and quickly surrounded the car and arrested them.

    The toilet paper was returned to its rightful owner.
  5. Cookie

    Cookie .

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  6. Cookie

    Cookie .

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    You see that Matt? lol.

    Let me tell you what mine did last night. I was sitting at my desk in the chair built for 2, me & Thomas. I was working on my laptop, he was working on digging out my pens, paperclips, gumbands, and then, I swirled my chair not thinking about him going for the ride half on & half off. He was falling and decided to catch himself with all his claws on my shoulders, back and neck. I tried to catch him, knocking over my cup of coffee, all over the lap top and the worst was when he eventually, landed in my plate of lasagne which turned upside on the laptop. He was screaming, I was screaming and Bob the aged, 24 year old cat who can't see well, had to come to try to see what all the screaming was about. There, my papers, my signed documents, was covered in muck. I turned this laptop upside down and it dripped. And, Thomas was a mess and decided to run for the hills, on my bed. Covered in coffee & lasagne.

    Bob, said to send him back.
  7. Cookie

    Cookie .

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  8. Cookie

    Cookie .

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    thanks peggy for this, and, I so agree... :)



    Rudolph & Blitzen, had to be girls !

    REMEMBER THIS AT CHRISTMAS TIME

    According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game,
    while both male
    and female reindeer grow antlers
    in the summer each year, male reindeer
    drop their antlers at the beginning of winter,
    usually late November to
    mid-December; HOWEVER, Female reindeer
    retain their antlers till after
    they give birth in the spring. Therefore,
    according to EVERY historical
    rendition depicting Santa’s reindeer,
    EVERY single one of them, from
    Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.
    We should’ve known…


    ONLY women would be able to drag
    a fat man in a red velvet suit

    all around the world in one night and not get lost.


    A MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!

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